Funeral Prayers

In addition to funeral prayers, we want to give you other ways of comforting the family.

What should I say to the family?

When Extending Comfort:

Be hesitant about saying such things as

God took them, God needed them,

God wanted them with him,

or

it was that person's time to go. 

Those statements may not agree with the grieving person's beliefs.

Many Christians believe that when someone dies "early," it was not God's will,  but it was the enemy of our soul who is to blame.

In the deep depths of pain after a death, a Christian may have to wrestle with God about the reasons surrounding the death of his or her loved one.  But there is no need to cause any unnecessary pain by saying something that might disagree with the person's beliefs and make that person feel even more alone.

All of us have our own personal way of looking at death. To truly comfort, it is generally best to say only a few words, while making the strength of your presence and the availability of your presence known to those who are in deep grief. 

Words that Comfort

The Words I like to hear the most after a death are:

"I know you are hurting."

The family can hurt for a long time after the death. I try to send a card weeks after the death instead of right after the death.

Everyone reaches out right after the death, but most people stop comforting the family within a couple of weeks. When a friend reaches out in a month or two by sending a card, that can be a great blessing.

Consider buying a card, labeling it, putting a stamp on it, and setting it where you will see it in a month in order to mail it at that time. You might even want to tuck a short note inside the card to share a treasured memory of the loved one. You might begin it with the words, "I remember when...."

Words that will probably

bless

someone who is grieving:

"Words are inadequate to express the sadness I feel. I am praying for you."

"My prayers are with you."

"Our hearts go out to you in your time of sorrow."

"Please accept my heartfelt sympathy."

"We cannot begin to know your pain, but we want you to remember that we love you."

"Your loved one made a real difference in my life. I will never forget him/her."

"(Name of deceased)   was a great man/woman. He/she will be missed by so many."