The Five Love Languages

This Bible devotion is called

"The Five Love Languages."

This was first presented by Beth McLendon
on the radio show she used to host.

If you are impatient, you can skip down

to get information on each of the Five Love Languages.

“And above all put on love.”

Colossians 3:14

Below is a transcript of the show:

The focus today for this radio show is on giving and receiving love from your family members. This is one of the most important subjects we could talk about. Making sure our family members feel loved is one of the most important things we can do. Many relationships are suffering because of wrong priorities. Many of us need to venture out of our comfort zone and make sure our loved ones FEEL loved.

The material I present today will benefit all family relationships - however - the benefits to children and the benefits to marriages will be my main focus.

Today's program is based on a book by Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages. This book tells readers that there are 5 ways that we show love to people. They are gifts, words, touch, quality time, and acts of service – which are things like doing chores and errands for someone to show love.

Gary Chapman wants his readers to understand that every person has a particular way that he or she wants love to be expressed. Today I’m going to quickly explain these 5 love languages from my perspective.

Understanding the 5 love languages

and how your family members feel

about each love language 

will help create great relationships!

But before I start sharing about the love languages, I’m going to set the mood for today  - by helping the women in the audience feel cherished and the men gain understanding of women  - by playing a song. The music today will be from Christian singer Steven Curtis Chapman, and it will be from his romantic CD called “All About Love.”

So here is Steven Curtis Chapman
singing a song about a husband praying to God
and asking God to help him do a better job
of showing love to his wife.

The song is called, "How do I Love Her?"

PLAY MUSIC - ( song number 3 on the CD  - see below)

What a romantic song!

Godly women swoon when they know

that their husband is praying to God

to help him make a great marriage.

Wives, I encourage you to tell your husband

other ways he can make you swoon!

At this point, I have a couple of quick comments

for those who are married:

Husbands, you can be a hero by being

open to what your wife loves

and sincerely trying to move in that direction.


Wives, you can be your loving husband’s

"woman on a pedestal"

if you will realize that your husband really is a hero.*

*The above comments are for those who have a loving mate.

The first Love Language is


The first of the five love languages that I am going to highlight is gifts.

Some people need to receive gifts to feel LOVED. The person with this love language wants to receive all kinds of gifts.

This can be wrapped gifts or for some it can even include a family member bending down and picking a flower and presenting it. If the person with this love language is never given gifts by his or her family, then that person may never FEEL loved. Most of the time a person with this love language will be seen as frequently giving gifts to others - because gifts are so important to this person.

Affirming Words

The next one of the five love languages is Affirming Words.

There are other people who need certain kinds of words spoken to them to FEEL loved. They need to be affirmed with compliments and encouraging statements. In addition, some in this group also need certain kinds of conversations. Some in this group will yearn to communicate on a deeper level instead of having their discussions with their family always be small talk.

If a person’s love language is words and those they love do not speak affirming, uplifting, and encouraging words to them, they will not FEEL loved.

(I will add to this that every child needs to hear “I love you” from his parents even if that isn’t his primary love language. Don’t let embarrassment or any other ploy of the devil keep you from expressing to your children the greatest three words ever spoken.)


Next is the love language of touch.

People with this love language need physical touch more

than the average person.

They need hugs and kisses during their day.

I’ll describe this language first
from a spouse point of view.

If a wife has touch as her love language then she will only FEEL loved if her husband reaches out and frequently holds her hand or gives her hugs during the day.

Now let’s think of a child who has “touch” as his or her primary love language. If a little girl has touch as her language, and she is never hugged and held by her parents, she will not FEEL loved. As this child becomes a teenager, this child may reach out to other teens to get these needs met if her parents do not give appropriate touch. You can see the problems that could occur in this case.

Take note that every child needs some touch.

Even if your child does not have touch as his primary love language, every child needs appropriate touch from his or her parents or his or her loving guardians. Obviously this does not include any kind of abusive touch. Anyone who has given inappropriate abusive touch to a child should not give any other touch to that child.

Quality Time

The fourth love language is quality time.

Many people need lots of quality time with someone in order to FEEL loved by that person.

For most who have this language, the quality time must be focused time. This means that you cannot just be in the same room with the person, but you must be focused on him or her and actively interacting with him or her.

When you love someone,

you care about what it takes

to make him or her

feel loved.

I’m going to play another song by Steven Curtis Chapman, and then we will move to the last of the five love languages.

PLAY MUSIC ( Song number 2 )

Steven Curtis Chapman was singing about a man after his wife’s heart. How beautiful! And obviously the wife in the song is a woman after her husband’s heart.

Acts of Service

The last of the five love languages is called “acts of service.” This can be defined as chores and special helpful things that you do to show you care. This could be helping with the dishes, running errands, washing the car, or bringing the morning coffee to the one you love.

Being helpful and thoughtful is highly important to those whose love language is acts of service.

I want to point out that even when you know a person’s love language, it is best to ask exactly how that person wants his or her love language expressed.

Don't expect your spouse to READ your MIND

I want you to read my mind.

I have advice for women and men who want others to read their mind. The advice is "that is not fair."

People cannot read your mind. I urge you to let go of that impossible dream and share your love language needs with your family. Allow your compassionate loved ones to have the joy of being able to be successful in giving you gladness.

Many of you listening have realized that we will all need to receive love through each of the five love languages at one time or another, but we each have one style and for some – two styles - that we strongly need expressed in order to FEEL loved.

In Conclusion

We can either

find fault with our loved ones

(which tear them down)

or we can see the favorable things in them

(which build them up).

I encourage you to make sure that you develop and keep a tender heart toward LEARNING the things that will make your family stronger.

May we cooperate with the Lord and yield to him with regard to how to love our family - so that he can strengthen our family relationships.

Stir up the Fire of Romance....

For a wonderfully romantic prayer

for a husband or wife, click here!

*Comments are for those who have a loving mate.

Copyright © 2012 Beth McLendon of Inspirational –

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