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What did you Say?



A

Monday - Friday

Devotional Page

to

Bless Your Life

-

This page can prevent relationship fights!



This page is presented

by your host Beth McLendon



The topic this week is titled -

"What did you say?"

-

Amazing Relationship tips





Introduction to this page:


Communication is important.

Communication is the key to relationships.


It is easy to lose harmony in a relationship
when we don't  HEAR each other correctly.

~

Miscommunication can lead to

Strife and Heartache.


This page takes a look at miscommunication.




Monday


When having a tense conversation, be sure you clarify

any statement

someone says

that seems unusual.



We don't always

HEAR

Correctly!

-

After our silly examples,

we are going to give you REAL - LIFE examples

that could cause relationship fights!


Silly Examples

From an unknown author:


Great abilities produce great vices as well as virtues.
(A Greek proverb)

Did you say -

"Greek abilities produce great victories in the kitchen?"


All men are evil and will declare themselves to be so when occasion is offered.
(Sir Walter Raleigh)

Did you say -

"Almonds are edible and will be eaten
when the occasion is offered?"


If you wish to be good, first believe that you are bad.
(Greek proverb)

Did you say -

"If a fish is good, no one will believe it to be bad?"



Application:


When having a tense conversation,

be sure you clarify

any statement someone says that seems unusual.


For example in marriage,

when you are upset with your spouse,

it is wise to clarify any upsetting statement.


When your spouse says, "You're tired."

You may hear, "You're terrible."

~

When your spouse says, "You are late,"

You may hear, "You are lousy."

~

When your spouse says, "I'm going to check the stew."

You may hear, "I am never going to do that for you."


- - -

For example

A wife will get offended at the statement

that she heard incorrectly

  and will then angrily stomp off

instead of

clarifying the statement. 


So

If you think your spouse said, "You're terrible"

Then

Ask him or her,

"Did you say that I am terrible?"

-

Important:

And if you are the one who made a statement

that was mis-heard,

and even if you are irritated at your spouse,

I encourage you to say nicely,

"No, honey I did not say that you are terrible.

I said, 'I am tired.'

I am glad you took the time to ask me that.

I don't want us to have unnecessary conflict."


Marriage is a team of two people.


Without clarification in communication, 

Team Cohesion

can become

Team Collision



Tuesday


Sometimes even correct hearing

doesn't result in correct communication.



Beth's True Story


While at the neighborhood pool,
I observed
this interaction
between a father and his little girl
in the swimming pool.


The father was trying to teach the toddler to swim.
The little girl was in his arms in the water.


"Paddle your hands! Paddle your hands or I'll drop you!"

"Don't drop me! Don't drop me!" came the terrified screams.

In a puzzled voice, the father replied,

"Honey, I'm not going to drop you.

You don't have on a life preserver,

and you can't swim.

I wouldn't drop you.

Why would you think I would drop you?"



(You can imagine what I was thinking!)


Sometimes we need to stand back and 
carefully listen to ourselves.


We need to consider the messages we are sending to others.


The swimming pool story was an extreme example of

not paying attention

to

what you are saying.


Yet I have often watched less extreme examples 

of this same principle.


God calls us to send messages

of

encouragement and love.

~

When we truly love others, 

we are concerned about 

tenderly 

meeting the emotional needs of others.



Wednesday

 

Defining words

helps to prevent strife.

 

Sometimes strife is caused by two people

defining words or phrases differently.

 

Sometimes upset comes

because two people

think they are defining words

the same

but they are not.



The above video is titled

"You poked my heart."


In the above video,

the lack of understanding of the

definitions of

"sprinkling" and "raining"

caused anger

between two children.


All too often differing definitions

cause division.


Application:


When you are having a tense time with a friend,

make sure

you are defining words in the same way.


For example:

The phrase "wash the dishes" may mean two different things to two different people.

To one person "wash the dishes" means "wash the dishes with soap, rinse them, dry them, and put them in the cabinet."

To another person "wash the dishes" means wash the dishes with soap, rinse them, dry them, put them in the cabinet, AND wash the kitchen countertops."


Take the above example and

think about a situation where two female friends

are sharing a vacation cabin.


One friend is mad

because the other person

did a lousy job of washing the dishes.

She is mad because her definition of a lousy job is

when

someone does not clean the countertops.


She is angry but she will not talk about it because her friend

should "know" what the problem is.


The lady who washed the dishes is

puzzled at what seems to be anger being directed

at her.


If you want to build a great relationship,

you must pursue

understanding.

-

Understanding helps create

harmony.

And let's remember that each of us

is an imperfect person

who has lots of stresses to deal with.

So let's be quick to forgive.

If you are having forgiveness issues... Click



Thursday


Talking

is the only way

to bring understanding.



People do not mind-read.

Each person sees life and life's experiences

a little differently.

 Only by talking can we create understanding.


Only understanding creates

Great Relationships.



Sometimes talking brings healing.


The following is a noteworthy interaction
from the old TV show
"The Courtship of Eddie’s Father"


The show was about a warm relationship
between a Father and his Son of about 7 years old.


BEFORE you read the dialogue

Begin thinking about a turtle and his shell.


The young son named Eddie asked his television father,

“Why don’t people wear shells to protect themselves?”


The father replied, “Some people do.”


Eddie asked, “How do you get them open?”


The dad said, “You talk them open.”



Friday


What did you

neglect

to say?



Point number 1


Silence,

when there should have been

loving words,

leaves a wound.


quote by Jack Frost of Shiloh Place Ministries

Please consider visiting our Jack Frost page.



Application:

Be generous

with your compliments and encouragement -

especially to family members!


Point number 2


Silence indicates approval.


Be aware that when you are silent,

you are giving the impression

that you approve and agree.


Application:

Be careful about the impressions

that you give others.


Use words to clarify.



Point number 3


Silence when there should be an apology

is foolish, destructive, and just plain wrong.


Saying you are sorry and apologizing

is important for maintaining relationships.


Application:

Start sincerely Apologizing.


And consider reading:

The Five Languages of Apology

by Gary Chapman 




Marriage Thoughts


People get married

because they want to be together.




People get divorced

because they do not want to be together.


What happens in between?


When people get married, they want to be together.


But

right after

the vows

comes misunderstandings.


  • Misunderstandings come from NOT understanding.
  • Out of misunderstandings can come hardness of heart.
  • All divorces are caused by at least one hard heart.

Misunderstandings and stress bring conflict.

* * *

Mark chapter 10 tells us

the reason for divorce

is

a hard heart.

So make sure that you aren't helping to create a hard heart in your spouse - AND - seek to keep your own heart tender.


Let's always try

to keep a tender heart

and pursue understanding.


I encourage everyone to consider getting my book

Praying for your Child

if you want to understand not only children

but adults as well.

My book explains the DISC personality styles.



This page was originally presented the week of May 18, 2015.


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