For Estranged Adult Children

The Parents Rejection page - brought you here.

That page does not mean that

you do not have a good reason

for

your estrangement with your parent.

And note -

That page is for parents

who did not abandon their child or intentionally break

the relationship. 

It is true that -

some parents

are too unsafe > emotionally or physically

to get close to.

But that is rare.

For most broken parental relationships,

there can be great improvement

and new joy

through

prayer,

love & patience, 

appropriate conversations,

a willing parent,

growing tenderness,

and

gaining wisdom.

-

The one who loves the least

controls

the relationship.

-

Every situation is different

but

many parental relationships have been

broken

because

an adult child's love has grown cold.

Coldness from adult children

is the situation that I am focusing on

at this time.

Our culture

- including public schools and also college -

do an outstanding job of  mentoring young people

to magnify the weaknesses in parents

and then throw them away.

If you truly love your difficult parent, 

it is very possible that

you can get healed enough to 

lead your parent into a 

healthy relationship.

Many parents

are more than willing

to learn

if

their child would guide them

and if

also

they had a good teacher.

Jefferson Fisher

is a 

good teacher.

-

Jefferson has lots of wisdom videos.

Check out his video below.

I pray that you are curious enough to listen

to Jefferson's videos.

The man with Jefferson is
Matthias Parker. 
He says he teaches on estrangement but I have not checked him out.

Here is his quick video on his previous estrangement with his father.
https://youtube.com/shorts/ZSP1jMavr1g?si=_f37qNviXwhcePYr

For your emotional pain,

consider visiting our Comfort from God page.

We also have pages to help you

FEEL

God's love more.

Click here

For

most of you reading this page,

YOU

can become

the hero

in the story of you and your parents.

I encourage you to

LEARN

HOW to present to your parents

videos that

give insights

to their growth and humility.

And if

your parents are not interested in learning,

then I urge you

to wait for a year or two and try again.

I urge you to

learn

how

to guide your parents to improvement.

For example,

listen to the following video

and note the things that

you agree with

and the

things that you do not.

-

Those observations can

help a parent.

Through pursuing learning

- such as listening to the Jefferson videos on this page -

you will gain wisdom

to use in many situations in life.

Consider beginning a list 

that you might one day give to your parent.

Add to this list

as you learn more about relationships.

Give the list to your parent

when you see that he or she is ready to read it.

For example - 

Mom or Dad

I want to hear you sincerely say...

"I am willing to acknowledge the pain I caused without defending myself."

*

" I should have spent more time with you." 

*

" I really messed up

and I need to learn how to be a

better parent.

Please give me videos to watch to help me grow."

*

" I should have listened to you instead of
focusing on me." 

*

"I want to own the pain I have caused.

Help me to put into words what I need to say to you." 

*

"I wish I had done things differently." 

*

"I need to learn how to show tenderness."

*

" I was selfish. Please forgive me." 

*

"I need to learn how to ___________."

*

" I want to develop a tender heart,

help me - guide me." 

And here is a prayer to consider praying.

God,

I am not sure

what is at the root of my feelings for my parent.

I am not sure why I have

negative feelings toward my parent.

I cannot put my feelings into words.

Help me to understand

why

I feel apathy toward my parent and why I feel anger. 

Help me

to put my pain into words

so

I can overcome and be healed.

Amen

The road to a good relationship,

begins with

you

and your parent

developing a more tender heart.

Would you -

listen

to the next song

and

try to open up your heart - at least a little ?

Here is an important truth -

your hardness toward your parent

will not be contained.

That hardness will leak out

and affect other relationships.

Forgiveness

does not necessarily mean access to you.

Please -

at least truly forgive.

To truly forgive -

you sincerely want good things for that person.

If

you have not gotten to that point -

then your forgiveness is not finished. 

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean access to you.

But

forgiveness enables you to love 

the important people in your life more fully.

Hardness of heart

will eventually destroy

your life.

We have lots of forgiveness help - Here

When you are ready

When you are ready to move forward,

you will need to increase

the tenderness in your heart.

This next song might help.

This next

song

represents the situation

of many people.

If

this is your situation,

consider

listening to it several times

and

allowing it to bring

more tenderness into your heart.