Reducing Anger


The Holidays are a time that can

really stir up

ANGER.

So.... I present to you...


Amazing Insights

that give you

Amazing Advantages

over

Anger

~

This page is unique

in that it looks at the subject of anger

through the lens of

The Four DISC Personality Styles.


Anger



Amazing Insights



Different Personality Styles

tend to get upset

about different things.

-

Understanding Personality Styles

gives us

AMAZING clues

about how to reduce ANGER



AND,

Understanding the thoughts of others

helps us

to know how to help others.


It gives us clues on how

to be loving and kind

to others and

tender toward their weaknesses!


This is taken from a seminar that I
Beth McLendon
give
and note that it was also in one of my previous newsletters.

Be sure and scroll ALL the way down the page.
There is a video at the bottom of the page on anger.


DISC Personality Styles





Introduction to Personalities


To begin, let's get some basic personality knowledge.


There are 4 basic DISC personality styles.


They are:


The "D" which is outgoing and task-oriented.

The "I" which is outgoing and people-oriented.


The "S" which is reserved and people-oriented.

The "C" which is reserved and task-oriented.


As you can see from the chart above

"Ds" and "Is" are outgoing and fast-paced.

"Cs" and Ss" are reserved and slower paced.


On the right side are the People-Oriented styles.

On the left side are the Task-Oriented styles.



Note that each of us is a blend of traits from each of the four personality styles.

Yet, the style that contains most of our traits tends to powerfully pull our thoughts in certain directions.


Each style has a tendency

to see life

in a different way.


So each style tends to approach life:

with a different mindset,

different thoughts, and different goals.


We are all unique,

but the following information

is generally true for most people.



Understanding the anger of "Ds"


Let's listen in on the thoughts of the "Ds"

as they begin to get angry in various situations:


"You are hindering me."

"You are wasting my time."

"You are slowing me down."

"You are not letting me control things."


"Ds" are generally quick to get angry

and quick to get over anger.


The "Ds" would say,

"Let's get my goals done today."


Tips


"Ds" need to understand that they are not the center of the universe.

"Ds" need to understand that the "D" style is about 10% of the population - and the rest of us think very differently from them.


"Ds" need to understand that

they will ruin relationships

if they do not gain some insights

into how mean and selfish they can be.


Expressing Love to "Ds"


People who want to express love toward "Ds" need to remember that giving lots of unimportant details during a conversation will often aggravate "Ds."

People with the "D" style are very aware of how they spend their time. They want to accomplish a lot of tasks in their day. They are results-oriented. We can give love to them by helping them accomplish their goals and not just trying to overload them with our goals.


Understanding the anger of "Is"


Let's listen in on the thoughts of the "Is"

as they begin to get angry in various situations:


"You are no fun."

"You are being too serious."

"You are pointing out my mistakes and making me feel that you don't like me."

"You are criticizing me and making me feel ashamed and that you dislike me."

"You make me feel like I don't matter."

"You aren't paying any attention to me."

"You are making everything too hard for me."

"You are taking the fun out of my life."


The "Is" want to say,

"Let's all have fun today."


Tips for "Is"


"Is" need to understand that sometimes fun has to wait.

"Is" also need to understand that when someone points out a mistake, it doesn't mean that the person doesn't like you.

"Is" need to understand that they can greatly wound people (and relationships) by not honoring their promises.


Expressing Love to "Is"


People who want to express love

toward "Is"

are helped by the following...


"Is" need lots of compliments and encouragement. Be an enthusiastic encourager to them.


"Is" need to know they are liked. So during
a stressful conversation,
always assure them that they are liked.


Understanding the anger of "Ss"


Let's listen in on the thoughts of the "Ss"

as they begin to get angry in various situations:


"You are creating conflict. I feel upset because there is conflict."

"You are taking away my peace."

"I am not feeling emotionally safe."


"You are not being nice."

"You make me feel terrible about myself."


"You are pushing me."

"You are not giving me enough time."


"Ss" don't like to discuss what is making them angry.


"Ss" are generally slow to get angry,

and

they will usually not let people know

when they are angry.

~

When they are very angry,

they will often choose to be passive aggressive.


The "Ss" want to say,

"Let's all be nice."


Tips

"Ss" need to understand that sometimes conflict is necessary.

"Ss" need to understand that people are not mind-readers.

It is helpful if "Ss" practice saying "no."

It is helpful if "Ss" realize that sometimes we have to make ourselves discuss our feelings with others, or we will have to face the consequences of having our feelings squashed over and over.


"Ss" need to realize that after awhile,
even the most gentle "Ss"
will get shockingly upset
if they allow their
feelings and needs
to always be ignored and forgotten.


Piling that anger up for years can result in it erupting.

For "Ss" who are married, that anger can become so great that divorce finds its way into their heart.



Expressing Love to "Ss"

People who want to express love toward "Ss"
need to remember
to be more aware of
the "Ss" feelings and needs.
Understand their huge inner reaction
to
conflict
and words said with intensity.

Also, giving them time to adjust to change is a big kindness to most "Ss".


People who want to express love to "Ss"
can say
to them,
"I appreciate you."



Understanding the anger of "Cs"


Let's listen in on the thoughts

of the "Cs"

as they begin to get 

angry

 in various situations:


"You aren't following the rules."

"You are creating a mess."

"You are doing jobs in a sloppy way."

"Everything is so unorganized."

"You should know how to do this right."

"You are not helping me."

"I am feeling like I have to do everything."

"Cs" have a deep desire to do things the right way. Unfortunately other people don't always have that desire. And to make things even more complicated, sometimes there is more than one right way - but "Cs" don't often see it that way!

"Cs" are generally slow to get over anger.


The "Cs" want to say,

"Let's all follow the rules and do things

the right way."




Tips

"Cs" need to understand that everyone doesn't share their deep desire to have everything organized, orderly, and perfect.

They need to realize that sometimes there is more than one way to do things right.

They need to realize that fun is important.


"Cs" need to realize that expecting people

to live with your high standards

for a long period of time

will eventually lead to mutiny.



Expressing Love to "Cs"


When talking to "Cs" about problems, 

try to be

more logical and less emotional.


People who want to express love toward "Cs"

need to remember that

"Cs" care deeply about people,

but they don't always verbally express it.


"Cs" are trying really hard to be helpful.

"Cs" do not realize that they are too critical.


And please remember that "Cs" are internally harder on themselves than they are on anybody else.

They carry really heavy burdens.

To improve your relationship with a "C",
consider reading my DISC personality book
and
giving it to your "C" loved one.

It is called: Praying for your Child. Note that: It is not just about children. It addresses lots of life issues and how to help in all kinds of ways including prayer. 


All this material is copyrighted.

Copyright © 2005 Beth McLendon of Inspirational - Prayers.com


God tells us to Love One Another. Learning about DISC helps us to love others the way they want to be loved.

So consider getting my book about DISC - to learn how to bless others more effectively. It is not just a prayer book!


Gary Smalley's Spiritual Words

on Anger





Jump to the top of Reducing Anger