Monday - Friday
Bless Your Life
This page is presented
by your host Beth McLendon
This page was originally presented the week of May 18, 2015.
The topic this week is titled -
"What did you say?"
Introduction to this page:
Communication is important.
Communication is the key to relationships.
It is easy to lose harmony in a relationship
when we don't understand each other.
Miscommunication can lead to Strife and Heartache.
This page takes a look at miscommunication.
When having a tense conversation, be sure you clarify
that seems unusual.
We don't always
From an unknown author:
Great abilities produce great vices as well as virtues.
(A Greek proverb)
Did you say -
"Greek abilities produce great victories in the kitchen?"
All men are evil and will declare themselves to be so when occasion is offered.
(Sir Walter Raleigh)
Did you say -
"Almonds are edible and will be eaten
when the occasion is offered?"
If you wish to be good, first believe that you are bad.
Did you say -
"If a fish is good, no one will believe it to be bad?"
When having a tense conversation, be sure you clarify any statement someone says that seems unusual.
For example in marriage,
when you are upset with your spouse,
it is wise to clarify any upsetting statement.
When your spouse says, "You're tired."
You may hear, "You're terrible."
When your spouse says, "You are late,"
You may hear, "You are lousy."
When your spouse says, "I'm going to check the stew."
You may hear, "I am never going to do that for you."
- - -
If you think your spouse said, "You're terrible"
Ask him or her,
"Did you say that I am terrible?"
Marriage is a team of two people.
Sometimes even correct hearing
doesn't result in correct communication.
Beth's True Story
While at the neighborhood pool,
I observed this interaction
between a father and his little girl in the swimming pool.
The father was trying to teach the toddler to swim.
The little girl was in his arms in the water.
"Paddle your hands! Paddle your hands or I'll drop you!"
"Don't drop me! Don't drop me!" came the terrified screams.
In a puzzled voice, the father replied, "Honey, I'm not going to drop you. You don't have on a life preserver, and you can't swim. I wouldn't drop you. Why would you think I would drop you?"
(You can imagine what I was thinking!)
Sometimes we need to stand back and
carefully listen to ourselves.
We need to consider the messages we are sending to others.
The swimming pool story was an extreme example of
not paying attention
to what you are saying.
Yet I have often watched less extreme examples
of this same principle.
calls us to send messages of
encouragement and love.
When we truly
we are concerned about
meeting the emotional needs of others.
helps to prevent strife.
Sometimes strife is caused by two people
defining words or phrases differently.
Sometimes upset comes
because two people
think they are defining words the same
but they are not.
The above video is titled "You poked my heart."
In the above video,
the lack of understanding of the
"sprinkling" and "raining"
between two children.
All too often differing definitions
When you are having a tense time with a friend,
make sure you are defining words in the same way.
The phrase "wash the dishes" may mean two different things to two different people.
To one person "wash the dishes" means "wash the dishes with soap, rinse them, dry them, and put them in the cabinet."
To another person "wash the dishes" means wash the dishes with soap, rinse them, dry them, put them in the cabinet, AND wash the kitchen countertops."
Take the above example and
think about a situation where two female friends
are sharing a vacation cabin.
One friend is mad
because the other person
did a lousy job of washing the dishes.
She is mad because her definition of a lousy job is when
someone does not clean the countertops.
She is angry but she will not talk about it because her friend should "know" what the problem is.
The lady who washed the dishes is
puzzled at what seems to be anger being directed at her.
If you want to build a great relationship,
you must pursue understanding.
Talking is the only way to bring understanding.
People do not mind-read.
Each person sees life and life's experiences a little differently.
Only by talking can we create understanding.
Only understanding creates great relationships.
Sometimes talking brings healing.
The following is a noteworthy interaction
from the old TV show
"The Courtship of Eddie’s Father"
The show was about a warm relationship
between a Father and his Son of about 7 years old.
BEFORE you read the dialogue
Begin thinking about a turtle and his shell.
The young son named Eddie asked his television father,
“Why don’t people wear shells to protect themselves?”
The father replied, “Some people do.”
Eddie asked, “How do you get them open?”
The dad said, “You talk them open.”
What did you
Point number 1
when there should have been
leaves a wound.
quote by Jack Frost of Shiloh Place Ministries
Please consider visiting our Jack Frost page.
Be generous with your compliments and encouragement - especially to family members!
Point number 2
Silence indicates approval.
Be aware that when you are silent,
you are giving the impression
that you approve and agree.
Be careful about the impressions that you give others.
Use words to clarify.
Point number 3
Silence when there should be an apology
is foolish, destructive, and just plain wrong.
Saying you are sorry and apologizing
is important for maintaining relationships.
And consider reading:
The Five Languages of Apology
by Gary Chapman
People get married because they want to be together.
People get divorced because they do not want to be together.
What happens in between?
When people get married, they want to be together.
right after the vows comes misunderstandings.
Mark chapter 10 tells us the reason for divorce - a hard heart.
So make sure that you aren't helping to create a hard heart in your spouse - AND - seek to keep your own heart tender.
Let's seek to keep a tender heart
and pursue understanding.
I encourage everyone to consider getting my book
Praying for your Child
if you want to understand not only children
but adults as well.
My book explains the DISC personality styles.